That felt good. How about another?

I enjoy writing. And I also enjoy communicating with people. So it's safe to assume that I enjoy blogging. Although they say that "assumptions make an ASS out of U and .... MPTION" (?), in this case it is truth.

Now, it's no secret, however, that I struggle from time to time with nailing down a topic or really committing to a post. I'll start writing something and whaddya know, I'll drift away (mentally or otherwise) never to return again. Sighhhhh. I blame ADHD. And a lot of blinky lights and move-y things in our house. OK not really, but sometimes the TV is on, and damn that Brian for trying to talk to me while I'm on the computer! Oh and those very very few occasions that I try to bust out a post while at work. It's hard to allow free flowing thought while minimizing your window every 90-120 seconds. (They're watching meeee!)

OK, so there's a relatively interesting intro.... now what? Do I tell you about my awesome writing skillz? Or about my long struggle with ADHD and how it's BLINKY LIGHT!

I'm sorry, where was I....

Nah, I think for now I'll really just ramble a bit until I decide that my eyes are too blurry to see through and I best be getting to bed so I can more easily drag my butt out of bed tomorrow. Did you know that I am sooooooososososo not a morning person? Ask my husband. And my mom.

I get a good amount of motivation to post knowing that others are checking. I don't know how often you check or who you are always, but toss up a comment so I know I'm not writing to dead air space. I find that readers make me feel a bit more accountable for providing entertainment. I make no guarantees that the posts are, in fact, entertaining, but at least I'll typey type out a few coherent thoughts and hit the post button. (Ahh if only it were that simple.)

Speaking of ADHD and typey type, have you tried Twitter? It's like blogging for the ADHD mind -- short form, one sentence, here's my thought, annnnnd DONE. You can do it once a day or once every 30 minutes, depending on how many thoughts you have circling your brain. And NO, it's not like FB status updates where you merely tell people what you're doing at any given time... it's more like the "other" updates where you say interesting things like "Rachel Zoe is totally bananas, but needs to eat, you know, cheeseburgers" and "Would you rather be the top scientist in your field, or have mad cow?"

So I guess what I'm saying is that my blog will be about everything, and yet nothing. Whoa. <--Keanu-style

OK byeeeeeeee.
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OMG UPDATE: I tried to post this and it went all FAIL on me and I thought I'd lost the WHOLE THING (which is like, crazy bad, because this was the prologue to my autobiography), and I was about to say "f_ck this sh_t, I'm never f__ing blogging again because this is clearly a sign from GOD that it's not meant to be, and my career as a blogger/writer is over!!!" and then throw my computer down and go wash my face and brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Booyah.

But it turns out it's okay! I'm gonna copy this before I try hitting "publish post" again..... juuuust incase.

If this post and I don't make it thru the night..... come find me on twitter.

We're years past "shotgun"...

This is killing you. You can't take it anymore. You're dying to know, aren't you.....

Alright then, here's the as-promised story of the WHITE TRASH WEDDING.

Background: this is Brian's 26-year old cousin that knocked up his girlfriend when they were 18 and then again at 20. While still living at home. Fast forward to Saturday.

To start, the ceremony was at 2pm at the courthouse. One could expect a 20-minute wedding, if that. The reception start time was listed as 6pm. Super. We skipped out on the tiny courthouse deal, and let Brian's parents go without us and hit the reception part. There was likely no way that all of the invited guests could fit at a courthouse wedding anyway.

So, onto the reception at the Monona Community Center. Picture it if you will: A small, 70's style gymnasium type room with a few strands of icicle lights, cafeteria tables lined up with plastic chairs, plastic table"cloths", fake lavender rose petals strewn across them with random glass containers in which swam purple beta fish.

Hope that set the tone and the ambience appropriately for you.

Now how about the food & beverage situation?? Always important in the wedding world. The tiny bar had a little soda station (the old kind with the four tappers you used to see at high school football games) set up next to it with plastic cups. Kids surrounded the machine. The bar itself was serving complementary Miller High Life in plastic cups. The champagne of beers if you will (which WAS consumed by the bridal party out of champagne glasses. Ironic, no?). Other than that, it was cash only.

It came time for the buffet, so folks started lining up..... we finally arrived at the buffet table to find styrofoam plates and plastic "silverware." They had run out of napkins. A couple of veggies & dip trays, followed by giant containers of potato salad (heavy on the mayo), pasta salad (very heavy on the mayo), and coleslaw (guess what? MAYO). A box of buns, and two trays with meat -- BBQ pulled pork and pulled turkey -- completed the spread. I ate all my veggies and one small pork sandwich. I didn't bother with the mayo-plus salads.

The cake, prominently displayed by the buffet, was an instant throwback to 1988. Tiers offset with little "bridges" in between upon which stood the little plastic (purple) bridal party, leading up to the top tier featuring the plastic bride and groom. And don't forget a red wine fountain positioned beneath the top tier. Everyone raved at how beautiful and what a masterpiece this cake was. The bride's neighborlady had made it. I'm pretty sure her name was Barb or Kathy or something.

But the real treat was the interesting crew of guests in attendance..... I can sum it up in one word: babymomma. OK, maybe that's two and maybe a few more words are necessary.... such as JEANS, t-shirts, baseball caps, drunks, flip flops, cigarettes, (short) sun dresses, unfortunate English usage, tattoos, hoop earrings, tennis shoes, "pimp hats"...... the list goes on. And LOTS of kids. My favorite was the 8 months pregnant girl (19 maybe?) wearing a SHORT blue sundress (spaghetti straps no less) with silver flip flops slow dancing with her man (baby daddy? not sure) while he grabbed her butt. Score dude, high five.

The highlights of the evening:

MUCH TO MY JOY, the cake was frickin' delicious. WAY TO GO, Connie!!!! or whatever your name was. Perfectly delightful lemon poppyseed with white buttercream. Yummmm. I had two pieces. But hey, I didn't have much dinner :-/

And the night was MADE when the DJ announced that the bride and groom requested that guests not clink their glasses to get them to kiss, but instead sing yadda yadda..... clink our glasses, you say? Um, excuse me... Mr. DJ.... may I briefly hearken back to the part in the story where I mentioned plastic cups and plastic "silverware?" Not much clinking to be done, eh?

We left still laughing....

HOWEVER, I do have to say that when budgets get cut, some otherwise "classy" brides & grooms eliminate things for their guests such as dinner, free alcohol / soda / bevs of any sort, dessert, and dancing while still expecting people to show up with gifts. This couple made sure to provide those items while remaining within their means, which is definitely worthy of praise. So CHEERS, Chris & April!