I give.

Once upon a time, I blogged....

I blogged about random things. I blogged about funny things (at least I think they were funny). I blogged about whatever the fuck I felt like. This is a metaphor for my life. I could do whatever the fuck I felt like doing!

Then September came, and I had a child. And it was and is amazing. But, my ability to go to a movie on a whim is somewhat compromised. Of course, I realized that this change was coming while pregnant, but until you're really in it and watching the hours fly by in between feedings and diapers and laughs and smiles, you just don't quite comprehend the transformation. 

So, I'm back. Blogging has always been a bit of a steam valve for my brain. When the brain gets too hot, it's time to funnel through the fingers. That's not to say that my blog posts have always been a way to vent or bitch, but I just have a lot of feelings...

That shit never gets old.

Nah, I'm not even really here to share feelings at this point. I just need to write sometimes! I'm a total scatterbrain, with clinical levels of anxiety, and writing focuses this very warbly person. And despite my irregularity, I truly enjoy putting pen finger to paper key.

If you've been following along, you've probably put two and two together to realize that I technically will now be considered a "Mommy Blogger." Ugh. BUT, BEFORE YOU ROLL YOUR EYES and click over to one of your 9 other browser windows (imdb, anyone?)... 

I hereby promise not to commit the classic Mommy Blog fouls. 

  - I will not make you think that I live any sort of perfect family paradise

  - I will not sugar coat

  - I will not censor my sailor mouth

  - I will not forget that I am a person in addition to a mom

  - I will not make this blog into talk therapy session or a personal journal filled with drivel

  - I will not have a perfectly decorated home for every holiday (or any holiday, for that matter)

  - There will be no giveaways, there will be no advertisements*

I must, however, admit to you that the following are unavoidable:

  - I will never NOT be a mom, which will likely affect my writing

  - I will always believe that my child is gorgeous and smart

  - I will certainly post pictures

  - I will celebrate victories big and small (but also promise to acknowledge failures)

  - I will include a fair share of day-to-day hum-drum life

  - I will be opinionated, and - because it's my blog - I will think I'm right

In conclusion, I'm back. For today, anyway. I'll probably forget again and not post for a month. 

C'est la vie.

Traycina

Say hello to my lil' frien.

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Oh hey! I wrote a blog post and it disappeared.

%69*#&$(*)&(*&

So, what's new with you?

To the point.  I have a list on my right menu of blogs that I follow.  Most of them are people I know, one of them is ridiculously awesome, and it happens to be the one on the very bottom that last updated TWO YEARS AGO.  I am Lemish.... well, SHE is Lemish, and she is my favorite!

Lemish is a bff that I met a few years ago in a really dorky way.  Let's skip that.  She is one of my favorite people on Earth, and I demand you read her hilarious insanity and encourage her to return to the internetz.  I shouldn't even say that as if she's left because she's RIGHT THERE.  Every day.  Hi Lemish.  Wave to the nice people.  I know you're watching. 

Lemish posted this to me a few weeks back regarding my own blogging:

"So eventually there will be dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour, right? Replace the first dinosaur with blog posts, and the second dinosaur with blog. Oh, and get rid of tour. Also, dinosaurs."

Here's where you should start: this post about funny stuff.  Or this post about Jesus and dinosaurs and other stuff. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Lemish

That's right.

Yes, I AM back to blogging.  I've been desperate to get back here lately.  I miss you, internetz!

I know some people have real purpose to their blogs (which is maybe why they write more than semi-annually?) but I'm kind of a special snowflake of a person and therefore a special snowflake of a blog!  You're not getting housey stuff, or recipe stuff, or family stuff.... This isn't one of those (weird) blogs where people post pictures of every outfit they wear (and you should be thankful because I'm wearing flannel and a sweatshirt right now....and a scrunchie in my hair (yes I said scrunchie)). 

Here's the latest:
  1. I love being a hairstylist! My job is great, but a little surprising....
  2. We're still renting a place we really like in NE Mpls, but we're considering the "great" world of home ownership
  3. Praise little baby Jesus my husband got a promotion! Going back to school at 27 cost a lot of money and put a lot of our dreams on hold (see #2, 4), so this really really needed to happen for us to move forward and get on track (and my career seems to be a slow-to-grow kind of gig)
  4. The baby train is en route our direction, but just ask Erin about how fast trains go.... not sure if we'll decide to board the train or get ourselves into a house first
  5. I really need a new computer and kinda want a Mac, though I've never had an Apple computer before - anyone have some advice?
  6. I'd never read them before but I finished ALL seven Harry Potter books in like two months!  And I LOVE THEM

OK, super good story.  More bloggery to come, I promise, so keep checking back.

xo,
Traycina

I have a good memory. And also, I am smart.

I opened up my blog with the intent to write a post about how awesome we are about not yet turning on our heat. Turns out I not only already posted about that, but it was mere days ago. Guess what's on my mind right now? The fact that I can't feel my toes. Hence my "inspiration."

Huh.... now what should I talk about?

Important news update: I put slippers and a blanket on. I'm less cold.

I have an idea for a post now, but clearly I can't combine it with this one. So "refresh" and enjoy post #2 for the evening.

...and then it was January.

So, remember back in the day when I used to blog? Neither do I.

A few things have happened since I last blogged three months ago. Most notably - I got new curtains for my living room. And they're beautiful and energy-saving! Yay! Oh, and I do hair now.

School has been good, great, okay, interesting, frustrating.... all those things that school usually is. I enjoy delving into my chosen trade, and the learning process therein. But of course there are ups and downs, high points and low points, days I love it and days I just want to get the hell out of there.

When one comes into my house, there are a few key indicators of life as I know it these days:
1. My miscellaneous "traditional" school supplies - textbooks, my book bag, and items I've used for some of our recent projects (I cut pictures out of magazines in my school... Academia at its finest).
2. Indicators of new study habits - aka scissors, a cape, clips, spray bottles, etc. all from doing cuts and colors outside of school. Not exactly studying, but kind of.
3. A closet full of black clothes
4. A distinct scent of Aveda - it's in my hair, on my face, and all around the house. In my shower right now, one would find ALL of the following: rosemary mint shampoo, smoothing body polish, rosemary mint body wash, carribean therapy body cleanser, carribean therapy body scrub, pure abundance shampoo & conditioner, and black malva shampoo & conditioner. Oh, and soothing bath salts. This doesn't count any of the skin care or hair styling products.

But I've noticed some other changes that I don't love:
1. I've become a communication ritard - you see, I no longer sit in front of a computer bored out of my mind all day, nor am I within reach of my cell phone. I miss calls, emails and texts, or I have just enough time to see that I've received a text, but not enough to actually reply.... and couple that with my awful short-term memory and you get ritard-status.
2. Somehow I'm more of a home body introvert once I walk in my house. There are a few other factors in play, here, but those dig a bit too deep for right now.
3. I spend my day standing in front of a mirror.... you can imagine the effect that has....

And there it is.

It's now 1:00am and I'm over-thinking this blog entry, so I must to bed. Hopefully this is the first in a long streak of blog entries.... and hopefully those future entries are much more awesome than this half-asleep snooze-fest.

It's me, evil twin Traycina.

I just switched this blog magically from one gmail account to another. Phew! I've been wondering how I could manage that without changing my blog address. Success achieved.

Now, being that my blog corresponds with my most used gmail account, it'll be easier for me to post more frequently!

Aren't you luckyyyy....

That felt good. How about another?

I enjoy writing. And I also enjoy communicating with people. So it's safe to assume that I enjoy blogging. Although they say that "assumptions make an ASS out of U and .... MPTION" (?), in this case it is truth.

Now, it's no secret, however, that I struggle from time to time with nailing down a topic or really committing to a post. I'll start writing something and whaddya know, I'll drift away (mentally or otherwise) never to return again. Sighhhhh. I blame ADHD. And a lot of blinky lights and move-y things in our house. OK not really, but sometimes the TV is on, and damn that Brian for trying to talk to me while I'm on the computer! Oh and those very very few occasions that I try to bust out a post while at work. It's hard to allow free flowing thought while minimizing your window every 90-120 seconds. (They're watching meeee!)

OK, so there's a relatively interesting intro.... now what? Do I tell you about my awesome writing skillz? Or about my long struggle with ADHD and how it's BLINKY LIGHT!

I'm sorry, where was I....

Nah, I think for now I'll really just ramble a bit until I decide that my eyes are too blurry to see through and I best be getting to bed so I can more easily drag my butt out of bed tomorrow. Did you know that I am sooooooososososo not a morning person? Ask my husband. And my mom.

I get a good amount of motivation to post knowing that others are checking. I don't know how often you check or who you are always, but toss up a comment so I know I'm not writing to dead air space. I find that readers make me feel a bit more accountable for providing entertainment. I make no guarantees that the posts are, in fact, entertaining, but at least I'll typey type out a few coherent thoughts and hit the post button. (Ahh if only it were that simple.)

Speaking of ADHD and typey type, have you tried Twitter? It's like blogging for the ADHD mind -- short form, one sentence, here's my thought, annnnnd DONE. You can do it once a day or once every 30 minutes, depending on how many thoughts you have circling your brain. And NO, it's not like FB status updates where you merely tell people what you're doing at any given time... it's more like the "other" updates where you say interesting things like "Rachel Zoe is totally bananas, but needs to eat, you know, cheeseburgers" and "Would you rather be the top scientist in your field, or have mad cow?"

So I guess what I'm saying is that my blog will be about everything, and yet nothing. Whoa. <--Keanu-style

OK byeeeeeeee.
_____________________________

OMG UPDATE: I tried to post this and it went all FAIL on me and I thought I'd lost the WHOLE THING (which is like, crazy bad, because this was the prologue to my autobiography), and I was about to say "f_ck this sh_t, I'm never f__ing blogging again because this is clearly a sign from GOD that it's not meant to be, and my career as a blogger/writer is over!!!" and then throw my computer down and go wash my face and brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Booyah.

But it turns out it's okay! I'm gonna copy this before I try hitting "publish post" again..... juuuust incase.

If this post and I don't make it thru the night..... come find me on twitter.

It's time.

"I just feel like I have so much to say but no good place to share it. Oh wait, that blog thing...."

HEY, friends! It's me :-)

Bet you've stopped reading.

Well, things have been really busy. Really frickin busy. Between twice weekly softball games, trying to find a new place to live, visitors, showers, friends, clients, and family stuff, my head is kind of spinning!

The best bet for me is always an outline format. Eliminates that whole extra complication of transitions....

1. The pool is still fucking closed. Softball friend Taylor just moved to the Burlington and can see the progress (whereas my place doesn't have a view). Let's just say that there isn't any. I'm seriously furious and it's definitely caused a big hit to my emotional health.... it's the absolute foundation of my happiness in the summer months and now every nice day I get serious pangs of anxiety feeling like I should be out, by water, somewhere. Hey doc, I need a boost in my SSRI dosage.... yep.

But is there anything I can do about it? It was estimated to be finished by, well, yesterday, and clearly isn't anywhere close. I wish I could get a discounted rent, but I'm afraid to ask....

2. Business is good. Not referring to my day job, obviously. Although that's fine as well. I've booked a number of clients and just did two last week. I'm thinking of starting a separate blog through my makeup website detailing some of my work with the clients and such. Kind of make it a bit more personal and make the potentials and even those that I've already booked feel a little more "in" on the inner-most workings of the arteeest.

So, here's the schedule:
June 23rd -- did a boudoir session, super fun! I love doing these because of the extra "va va voom" factor. Everyone wants to vamp it up.

June 27th -- bride + others. Bride looked exactly like Kendra from Girls Next Door (except 35 and not annoying). Gorgeous!! Did her 15 year old daughter, and her 70 year old mother(s), so there was a good range.

July 11th -- another boudoir shoot shot by pal photographer "Callie V."
July 25th -- bride + others
August 8th -- bride + others
August 15th -- Erin's wedding!! Bride, mother, bridesmaids, self...
August 22nd -- Ashley's wedding to my cousin Mike!! Bride, bridesmaids....
September 12th -- Lisa's wedding!! Not sure of who....
September 26th -- Cretin Derham Hall homecoming girls
October 9th -- bride + others
October 17th -- bride + others

Then I start school on October 20th.... holy cow!

3. Softball is going -- and I have the MOTHER of all bruises on my right thigh. It's literally larger than my hand. It's about 6" in diameter. A fast hit, low-flying ball took a hop off the ground and nailed me. Yeeeowtch!

We WERE doing great until we had a game cancelled -- we've tanked ever since.

4. That's all I can manage for right now.... because otherwise I'll get distracted and never finish.

Hope you've enjoyed!

Ask.... and ye shall receive.

At the request of a reader, I am blogging more to give you some workday entertainment. I'm not sure if that's what this can be defined as, but at least it's something to do. Yah? Yah.

I'm currently reading Angels & Demons (Dan Brown) and can't put it down. I read DaVinci Code years ago, right before the movie came out, and have to say that I like this one better! It's got such a driving mystery - clues, secrets, murders, shock, suspense - and couples with great historical background on the Vatican and Catholicism, making it a very entertaining read.

Sometimes it's hard not to get wrapped up in the story and details, considering all the factual references. This, I imagine, is why there were so many crazies after the DaVinci Code came out..... It would, however, be SUPER cool to do an adventure through Rome seeing all the sites outlined in the book. Lordy Christ, I need to travel.

That's all for now. Wow, that's incredibly boring. More later.

Remember me?

It's been awhile. You've probably stopped checking to see if I've even written because it's been so long. I've successfully driven away all five of my loyal readers. SIGH.

Things have been BUSY lately! Softball started on Tuesdays & Thursdays, I still have choir Wednesdays (and Sundays obv), I confirmed a start date with Aveda finally, so discussions and prep have started for that, we made a SECOND trip down to Madison for yet another wedding (WAY less trashy, in fact, not trashy at all), I put together my website and have been receiving some contacts (yay!).... it's nutty I tell you!

I don't have much to say at this point except SORRY! I'll blog again very soon, like 24 hours, so check back for something more interesting than all of this ^^ nonsense.

Ciao!

ADHD about blogging: a collection of mini-updates

There are many times each week where I think of an idea for a blog post, but become so overwhelmed with the idea of said post that I just nix it all together. And then times where I have 10 potential ideas and don't know where to start.

This is the story of my life.

So rather than topical, organized posts.... I thought maybe I could just word vomit (in an outlined format, of course) about various stuff and things all in one place. Okay? Okay.

#1: Things are almost set for me to start school at Aveda on October 20th. HOORAY!

I'm really pumped at the thought of being a stylist! Colors, cuts, straightening, curling, men, women, children. I love hair! I cut Brian's hair the other night, and while it was a new "style" and new process (from his usual crew cuts), I think it worked out pretty well! The longer hair definitely hides mistakes better, which is nice ;-)

#2: Our six-month anniversary was yesterday. HOORAY!

We celebrated by spending two nights at my in-laws house on twin beds and going to the most white-trash wedding I have ever seen. OH, and 8 hours in a car together. FUN!!! I did get some sweet throw pillows out of the deal though.... so glad I told him that YES it's standard to get your wife a gift for your 6-month.

#3: I really love shopping.

My budget does not support my passion, however. This can be annoying at times. I did get a FANTASTIC new spring windbreaker the other day from, surprisingly, NY & Company. I'd written the place off as the sizing can be weird and the tops aren't big enough in the bust. But thanks to Melinda, we ventured in and I found this gem:

Cute right??

OK, that's all for now. More to come later tonight or tomorrow, including the fantastic tale of yesterdays super white-trash wedding!! I KNOW you want to hear all about it.... ;-)

New look!

What do you think?

I'm watching you.

I just installed Google Analytics. Holy crap. It's nuts how much it can tell me.... I don't even know 80% of what it's telling me, but DO know that it's telling me something. Catch all that?

More to come....

Back on the Blog Horse, I'm Lame, Kate's Wedding

OK, so it's been awhile.... specifically 2.5 weeks. Have you missed me?? And by "you" I mean the 6 of you readers that cared to comment on my Roll Call post below. So, Erin, Ali, Melinda, Brian, Missy and Tom - THANK YOU. This is for you, friends!

Life as of late has been.... interesting. And by interesting I mean dull. Oh, and I was in a wedding. I am a homebody that loves to stay put. I somehow manage to keep friends despite the fact that I'd surprisingly rather be in my pajamas on my couch. Did you know that I'm a bit of an introvert? Yeah.... everyone thinks I'm really extroverted, but I'm just really chatty out of nervousness.

Back to what's new.... Kate's wedding was a really grand time. I don't know if you have seen pictures or what not, but she was an unbelievably gorgeous bride. Katie has timeless good looks -- beautiful bright eyes, great bone structure, long lashes and big lips... can't go wrong, right? Seriously though, she looked stunning.

I myself looked awesomely tan. Hooray!!! A victory in and of itself. I've found the cocktail of electric beaching plus self-tanning two days before = the perfect bronze goddess look.

Here are a few other notes from the big day:

1. Kate & Tyge are a cute couple -- they also have very good looking friends.

2. Christos Union Depot is beautiful!!

3. WHY can't the bridal party sit down at some of these weddings? My feet were numb. I had eventually stopped listening to the goings on because I was so focused on rediscovering my toes. I even considered if anyone would notice me sliding my foot out of my shoe and standing barefoot on the altar. It was bad.

4. I love being a bridesmaid.

5. I am annoyed easily. But we'll leave that one cryptically disguised.

6. I never cried on my own wedding day... is that bad?

7. I may not be the most gorgeous bridesmaid, but I am satisfied hearing that people think I'm "so hilarious" and clearly awesome at taking pictures....

All in all, it was a great wedding. I'm entirely jealous and want to plan my OWN again, because that's how I roll, but I'm so happy that K & T had the wedding of their dreams.

Unfortunate discovery. And a HAPPY THOUGHT!

My stories aren't very good! I'm pretty okay with talking about thoughts, opinions, philosphies, experiences, etc... but when it comes to stories, none can compare to the crazy, deranged tales of Miss Melinda (my evil twin). I suppose I'm okay with that, though. I mean, some of us entertain via reality, while others require excessive embellishment and far-out exaggerations (like a soap opera or telemundo).

It is a bit pathetic that my most entertaining story details my feelings and actions against a violator of simple parking law..... but the interest in this tale has been surprising! Apparently people enjoy boring tales of vigil ante justice :-)

Meanwhile, I've been dreaming of pool time. With the warm weather approaching and thoughts of tanning (for Kate's wedding next week), I've been very jazzed about spending some good, quality time by the pool this summer with some of my favorite people:

- Erin will be done with her L2 year of law school (and will probably appear at my doorstep drunk after her last final in a swimsuit) and needing some SUNSHINE. Ali will be with her.
- Kate will be an old married lady with FINALLY some more time on her hands to spend with ME
- Angie's finally a MN resident again
- Micaela and I will be hanging out three days a week with softball Tues & Thurs
- Melinda will come despite the vegitation in her drink last year (it's just MINT, sheesh)
- Andrea will take a break from her hip, fun life living in uptown and being a comedianne
- Ana will find a break from earning all that Pharmacist $$$ between weird shift rotations at the hospital and casual work in Winona
- Bridgett will hopefully come (with or without baby Harper)
- And maybe, JUST MAYBE, Tom & Kathryn will bring Luke over for some fun in the sun.... or drop him with grandma Lois and go nuts ;-)
- Oh, don't forget about "gay or European?" and his 'girlfriend' "Tits on a Stick"

GOODNESS, this is going to be a busy summer! Thank God I have such fabulous people in my life to share it with. Mark your calendars, clean out your coolers and go buy yourself some new flip flops!

Now.... I'm gonna start work on an iPod poolside mix ;-) I'm thinking some oldies, some pop tunes, some fun country.... AHHHHH, it'll be great!

Pressure is on!

Let me preface by saying that I am so not very funny on my blog. I tried funny, but I became so overwhelmed at the thought of having to "perform" here that I just ultimately stopped posting. Once I took a deep breath and realized that it's MY blog and I can write whateverIwantsodontjudgeme, it lifted the burden!

Also, I'm way funnier in person. It involves a lot of jazz hands, weird facial expressions and strange voices. Here I'm just.... words. :-/

My heart skipped a bit of a beat when my blog was publicly outted by my fab wedding florist, Jackie (LOVE HER! Just Bloomed) over on her lovely flowery blog (love the idea of a florist's blog! Who doesn't love to look at beautiful flowers??). OMG she said my blog was funny and then LINKED it. So, a slightly awkward helloooooo to anyone who's come here from there thinking "who is this WEIRDO??"

In all seriousity, I really think that Jackie is phenomenal at what she does. I love flowers and I love pretty wedding bouquets, but it's a really really difficult thing to arrange flowers WELL. She is so creative, coming up with superb bouquets in both a modern style and a romantic style. Two favorites:

See? Beautiful. And this is reason enough for a fabulous flower blog.

I think my blog is cool. And just because you're pretty doesn't mean you can act like that.

So, now that I have a new look and post a bit more regularly, I feel like my blog is kinda cool again. It's that idea that confidence can make ANYONE feel cool, you know? So even if my blog is the weird geek of the blog world, it feels pretty fucking awesome and smart and knows that it will make more money than your "popular" blog someday ;-) Eat that, Bloggess.

I'm teetering on the idea of sharing it with various family and friends, however. I'm afraid that my love for the f-word might offend someone and the blog could end up in the wrong hands and then my brother will be all "kiss your... OUR mother with that mouth?!?" and I'll be all "YOU taught me these words, assface." Hi Tom! But I don't think my usage is that excessive that someone wouldn't be able to tolerate it. And really, there are some things that cannot be expressed in literary terms without cursing.....

Maybe someday when I have a baby blog I'll keep it to like one per post.

And now, I seamlessly transition into my next topic....

I visited lovely friend Bridgett tonight with adorable yet fussy baby Harper out in "disturbia." Poor Bridgett..... Harper just does not like to cooperate with the whole "sleeping" thing. As Bridgett so kindly puts it, "she's a needy little girl." It really is in her own benefit, however, that she's such a PRETTY baby!!! God, what a cute lil' face that girl has! Daddy Josh said tonight "I'd rather have an ugly baby that SLEPT," but they're both happy with their creation :-) Hopefully soon things will settle down, but in the meantime say a little prayer for the Gawlik family that they maintain sanity!

These two do NOT know sign language.

Yet.

two of my all-time favorite kitty pics

Olive and Cherry, while being little shits sometimes, sure are sweethearts. They've been very energized by the new food we started about a month or so ago. Both are more playful as a result, which is so great! Olive is my little buddy every time I sit down on the couch. We call her armrest cat, because she is at my left side within minutes of me sitting down. Sometimes she'll sit right next to me, perching her body on my leg and nuzzle into the crook of my arm. I die a little, it's so cute!

I'm extra lovey dovey towards them lately, even investing in a FURminator and brushing them like mad. Via brushing, Olive birthed a litter of kittens the other day. Or so it appeared. The hair just. kept. coming. out! Cherry's been a bit more difficult, as she's a bit skiddish about grooming (due to her "dingleberry" problems), but I get a few strokes in here and there. Her fur is SO FINE and yet there's SO MUCH. It's so fine that individually, the strands are nearly invisible. It sticks to your hand due to static and literally feels like cobbwebs! You can't imagine the issues it causes when those get in your eyes and eyelashes.

We visited PetSmart to pick up the FURminator the other day and as a rule we ALWAYS visit the kitties up for adoption. I wish I wish I wish I could take out every one of them and snuggle them like I do my own kitties. There were some real sweethearts there, but none as wonderful as Morris, the 1-year old orange tabby. He just sat up, so alert, just waiting for us to come towards his crate.... and when we finally got to his (the last) we both felt the yank on our heart strings. He was so... so.... SOOOO cute. Fuzzy and orange, alert, bright-eyed, playful, sweet, trusting - you could see all those traits in an instant.

It broke my heart to leave Mr. Morris there. I think all those sweet lil kitties deserve a warm, soft place to sleep, a hand to reach out and pet them, maybe scratch behind the ears and rub under the chin a bit, and to be told "I love you!" at some point in their lives.....

And on that note, I can't wait to see my furblobs when I get home :-)

Refresh, Renew, Recycle (I think that's how it goes)

I've decided to give my blog kind of a facelift. The old design, while pretty, was an assault on my eyes. The background alone heightened my anxiety to surprising heights. I like things to be visually organized. Enter overhaul:

So here it is - simple, yes, but hopefully lovely. It's clean, it's neat, it's found some confidence and purpose in it's simplicity. It's an all around happier, healthier blog because of it. A change for the better, really.

I really wish I could apply this principle to my closet these days. There is just SO. MUCH. CRAP. I wear the tiniest fraction of the clothing I own (in part due to the fact that I have steadily gained unwanted weight over the years) and the rest gets shoved aside. Could this constant wardrobe replenishment be partly to blame for my financial woes? Ummm YAH.

Alas, I digress.

I've opted not to care about my blog's identity - it is what it is: a place for me to spill thoughts, talk about stuff and things, update you (who ARE you??) on my latest adventures (or lack thereof), and sprinkle tidbits of beauty advice in here and there. I used to have notions of compartmentalizing it all, but realized that sometimes the more you try to organize things, the more chaotic they become.....

And that, children, is the moral of today's story.

Fin

Blogging is like exercise.

How have I come to loathe blogging? I think that mayhaps I indulge too much care and effort into them, thereby overthinking the entire process. Why can't I just write thoughts? Who says they need to be organized? No one. Cuz no one reads it anyway.

I'm really freakin stressed about future stuffs. My ball of stress - namely school/new career, house-buying, family planning - is all wrapped in a pain-in-the-ass layer of financial constraints. Virtually impenetrable. Mother fuck, fucker, shit, damn, balls. There, I said it. And it felt kinda good.

That's all I can muster.