I give.

Once upon a time, I blogged....

I blogged about random things. I blogged about funny things (at least I think they were funny). I blogged about whatever the fuck I felt like. This is a metaphor for my life. I could do whatever the fuck I felt like doing!

Then September came, and I had a child. And it was and is amazing. But, my ability to go to a movie on a whim is somewhat compromised. Of course, I realized that this change was coming while pregnant, but until you're really in it and watching the hours fly by in between feedings and diapers and laughs and smiles, you just don't quite comprehend the transformation. 

So, I'm back. Blogging has always been a bit of a steam valve for my brain. When the brain gets too hot, it's time to funnel through the fingers. That's not to say that my blog posts have always been a way to vent or bitch, but I just have a lot of feelings...

That shit never gets old.

Nah, I'm not even really here to share feelings at this point. I just need to write sometimes! I'm a total scatterbrain, with clinical levels of anxiety, and writing focuses this very warbly person. And despite my irregularity, I truly enjoy putting pen finger to paper key.

If you've been following along, you've probably put two and two together to realize that I technically will now be considered a "Mommy Blogger." Ugh. BUT, BEFORE YOU ROLL YOUR EYES and click over to one of your 9 other browser windows (imdb, anyone?)... 

I hereby promise not to commit the classic Mommy Blog fouls. 

  - I will not make you think that I live any sort of perfect family paradise

  - I will not sugar coat

  - I will not censor my sailor mouth

  - I will not forget that I am a person in addition to a mom

  - I will not make this blog into talk therapy session or a personal journal filled with drivel

  - I will not have a perfectly decorated home for every holiday (or any holiday, for that matter)

  - There will be no giveaways, there will be no advertisements*

I must, however, admit to you that the following are unavoidable:

  - I will never NOT be a mom, which will likely affect my writing

  - I will always believe that my child is gorgeous and smart

  - I will certainly post pictures

  - I will celebrate victories big and small (but also promise to acknowledge failures)

  - I will include a fair share of day-to-day hum-drum life

  - I will be opinionated, and - because it's my blog - I will think I'm right

In conclusion, I'm back. For today, anyway. I'll probably forget again and not post for a month. 

C'est la vie.

Traycina

The science of belief.

"Our virtues and our failings are inseparable, like force and matter.  When they separate, man is no more."    - Nikola Tesla

I love this quote.  While geeking out with my husband and watching some super cool History Channel shows, we heard this. It spoke to me.... crazy Tesla spoke to me (a fellow-crazy). I love the idea that we are not able to be one without the other.  We, as imperfect human creatures, are expected both to be our "sparkly best" (for some reason that description stuck in my head and I could NOT come up with anything else), and also to fail at it.  And that's great because we fail quite frequently!

Brian and I do really love to geek out.  Some of our favorite topics of conversation include science, physics, Metaphysics and religion/spirituality.  It's one of the things about my husband that immediately attracted me to him.  He understood and shared my scientific and logical mind, and the very sure opinion that science and discovery bring us closer to God and not further away.  He operates more in the philosophical side of this, and I in the psychological, but it sparks some great conversations!

So tonight, when scrolling through the tv listings and seeing History's "Proving God", we both looked at each other with a little glimmer in our eyes :-)  Brian, in fact, immediately shut his laptop (we were co-computing as good married couples do), situated on the couch and focused ALL attention on the show.  I was floored!  Even Badger games are viewed with the laptop open....

The show went through various aspects of this concept, but one area of this subject that I've always found fascinating is the neurophysiological study of how our mind believes.  A book that I read years ago (when Brian and I first started dating, actually!) called Why God Won't Go Away: Brain Science and the Biology of Belief outlined many of these same concepts, showing the effects that spirituality had on our biological functions. 

I think it's very enlightening to sit down and really ponder these mysteries.  If you're someone that prays or meditates (even if just in yoga class), how does it make you feel?  How does it affect your body?  And if you think of that physiological change, what sort of affect does it's enemy, STRESS have on the body?  We've all heard (and felt) that stress is bad for your health and exacerbates many conditions, but how many times have they told you that the best way to counter stress is through spirituality? 

I think we've all lost concept of the word PEACE and what that means.  Inner peace, outer peace, rest in peace, "peace be with you".... it's become nothing but words words blah blah words.  My God! Isn't the season of Christmas the time when we send out cards wishing each other peace, but feel it the very LEAST?!  As someone who suffers from some MAJOR anxiety (more on that in a blog post that I've written many times (adhd) but never posted), I have my own tug-of-war going with Peace.  It's as if I actually have an angel and a devil on my shoulders, but one is my "shiny happy people mode" and the other is "motherfucking crazy person mode."  So I guess I'm not in any position to truly advise others on how to find Peace (try soft rock).  We need to be aware of it's affect on us, and how we can bring it into our own lives and help to bring it to others.  Lord knows we could all use a little more peacefulness.

More on the other science-y stuff another day.  This turned into a hippy dippy peace and love fest, which wasn't at all where I was going with it :-) 

And now for the thrilling conclusion: Brian just came over to me to say goodnight and said that he'd like to leave me with a joke! About meditating! Oh good, what a great end to my story!  Except that it's SO totally dorky and I didn't get the punch line :-)  All great jokes have to be explained, right??......

"A Buddhist monk goes into the dentist, and finds out he needs a root canal.  'As long as you don't give me anesthetic, Doctor' the monk says.  The dentist argues, 'My God man, you'll be in terrible pain! Are you sure?!' The monk quietly and surely says 'Most certainly. I'll just transcend dental medication.'" [See: Transcendental Meditation]

Hahaha! (eyeroll)

Let's get real, shall we?

This makeup video is amazing.  If you've ever suffered from acne or a generally poor complexion, or if you've ever had an insecurity, this is both educational and inspiring.  How brave, to put yourself and your biggest insecurity out for the internet to judge.

As someone who has acne-prone skin, there's a point of acceptance in life that you will only leave the house with full foundation on.  And it fucking SUCKS.  You don't get to do the natural, effortless, "I only need mascara and lip gloss" routine.  Instead, you get the "oh my GOD, there's too much natural lighting here" or "I wonder if they'll judge me for wearing makeup at the cabin" or "gee, I hope my disguise doesn't melt off my face by the end of the workday/date/party."

It's not like other body insecurities that you can cover with clothing -- unless a burqa is your thing -- because it's really hard to hide your face and people are so judgmental about it!  Do you judge if you see a girl in a long sleeve shirt?  Perhaps she's got a major complex about giggly arms. (Or jiggly... yeah that's it.) Believe me, I wish I could get away with a bikini's amount of makeup, but the burqa-coverage is how it's gotta be.

So add that to my list -- what are your insecurities?

Words blah blah words blah.

If you couldn't tell from the heading of this post, there isn't really a true purpose to this train of thought.  And this train is prone to stalling mid-journey.  So watch yourself.

Maybe this should be another bullet point post!  I really love bullet points.  I'm obsessed with them.  They're all I think about.

1.  My husband is leaving me for Thanksgiving.  He has the week off and is heading to see his folks because it's the nice thing to do.  They're coming up here for Christmas anyway, so it's a fair trade, but I have to stay here and work tonight until 9pm and Friday at 9am, so no trip for me.  I'll head to my cousin's solo, which will still be fun. But..... this coupled with the fact that I've stopped wearing my ring to work (it cuts open my gloves when I color), and that Brian will go back down to Madison for his extended family Christmas alone will certainly make folks wonder about our marriage. Ha!

2.  I'm super pumped about our NYE plans (sorry Melinda - avert your eyes!). We met our new friends Kelsey & Joel last fall when they moved in downstairs in our duplex.  Being the SUPER extroverted people they are (they're like puppies!), they just knocked on the door and asked if we wanted to hang out and we've been friends since!  Well, K&J decided to scope out a rental cabin with a hot tub in Stevens Point, WI, so the four of us along with their friends Tim & Kendra will head out there for the weekend! It's going to be so fun!!!  They all love to cook, and we're getting there, so we're planning to do some seriously delicious meals, and some serious drinking.  So no babies until 2012 ;-)

3.  It's nearly official that I'll be getting myself a sweet Macbook Pro for Christmas this year!  HOORAY!!!!  I expect personal tutoring sessions (Erin).  I haven't purchased a computer EVER, so this is big news.  Any advice for the buying process? And I plan to buy at Best Buy - is that kosher??

4.  I'm trying SO HARD to reach my next level through work, but it's been majorly frustrating!  Basically, they track how many people I have booked with me each week that asked to see me - we call them request clients.  I'm working toward 25 a week and need to have 25 or more for 6 weeks in any 8 week period.  I was SO CLOSE this past weekend.  I booked in early and late on Saturday, and would have been willing to work over my lunch....BUT some lady cancelled last minute on Saturday and came in on Monday instead.  She let slip that it was because she wanted to sleep in..... great.  So if you have anyone in the area that needs a new hairdresser (I take men women and kids too!), send them my way please!

Alright, it's come to the end of our show.  Sorry for the super random tangeants... think of it as buffet-style!  I hope that you're out there reading this, and enjoying my overdue return to the keyboard. 

xoxo
Traycina

P.S. Any ideas for things I should write about?

Overused word of the day.....

OBSESSED

I've come to hate the word. If you're truly obsessed with something, it's all you think about. So how is it then that so many people are "obsessed" with fifteen things at a time?!

This little obsession with being obsessed seems to have found increased popularity with the cool new website Pinterest (omg I'm obsessed with it). Have you tried it? It's a delightful site where people post things that catch their attention as if to a bulletin board; fashion, home decor/crafts and really delicious recipes seem to be the most "repinned" items. All that greatness aside, people will post a picture (or five) of boots and on every one of them say "OMG I'm obsessed with boots right now."  But we shant blame Pinterest for this.... the problem started long before.  Rachel Zoe definitely contributed.

Here's a tidbit for you: the key to being interesting, whether in conversation or in writing, is variance.  There are so many ways to convey your thoughts, opinions or stories without being so repetetive.  Oh hey, look at this cool guide (ironically found on Pinterest).

"Express yourself."   -Madonna

 

That's right.

Yes, I AM back to blogging.  I've been desperate to get back here lately.  I miss you, internetz!

I know some people have real purpose to their blogs (which is maybe why they write more than semi-annually?) but I'm kind of a special snowflake of a person and therefore a special snowflake of a blog!  You're not getting housey stuff, or recipe stuff, or family stuff.... This isn't one of those (weird) blogs where people post pictures of every outfit they wear (and you should be thankful because I'm wearing flannel and a sweatshirt right now....and a scrunchie in my hair (yes I said scrunchie)). 

Here's the latest:
  1. I love being a hairstylist! My job is great, but a little surprising....
  2. We're still renting a place we really like in NE Mpls, but we're considering the "great" world of home ownership
  3. Praise little baby Jesus my husband got a promotion! Going back to school at 27 cost a lot of money and put a lot of our dreams on hold (see #2, 4), so this really really needed to happen for us to move forward and get on track (and my career seems to be a slow-to-grow kind of gig)
  4. The baby train is en route our direction, but just ask Erin about how fast trains go.... not sure if we'll decide to board the train or get ourselves into a house first
  5. I really need a new computer and kinda want a Mac, though I've never had an Apple computer before - anyone have some advice?
  6. I'd never read them before but I finished ALL seven Harry Potter books in like two months!  And I LOVE THEM

OK, super good story.  More bloggery to come, I promise, so keep checking back.

xo,
Traycina

Things I wish I could do: Sewing

This is a new feature! Instead of being another one of those how-to blogs, I've decided to write a "teach me how-to".....?

So today, my chosen magical skill is sewing. I wish I could sew. And also, the word sew is kind of weird, considering it's pronounciation. Anyway... I totally wish I could sew stuff! I often walk through places like Bed Bath & Beyond and, when unable to find a shower curtain that meets my needs, throw out the "if only I could sew."

Here are a few more examples:

- Hemming pants. I can't buy regulars because they're too short, but sometimes the longs are ridiculously long! Hence my need.

- Taking in dress shirts for Brian - dude has XL shoulders and neck, with L arms and waist.

- Crafting pillows, curtains, other home decor. This craving surfaces quite often.

- Someday baby bedding - that stuff is ridiculously expensive for seemingly no reason.

- And on that note, some baby clothes! I'm not going to pretend that I could manage to sew clothes for myself, but making a little dress for a 2 year old is probably not that hard.

- Sewing leads well into other crafty things.

Wasn't that exciting? OK, maybe not.

A common theme amongst MN bloggers today.....

Snow sucks.  It totally fucking sucks.  And yes, we are all OVER IT. 

You know what else I'm over?  Living in my current place.  My car was broken into on Sunday night and the $30 worth of stuff they took was apparently worth the $226 cost to replace my window, and the additional damage to my door frame.  Add this to the two snow emergency tows and accompanying parking tickets and the not-budgeted-for-category "things happening outside" has cost us a good chunk of change.

Then there's a small.... very, very small.... issue of not having enough space.  We have plenty of stuff, and a big creepy basement to stash it in, but that will give the stalker/serial killers something to hide behind (TOO MUCH CRIMINAL MINDS).  Plus, it makes stuff smell basementy and cramming your stuff into a hole just makes your piles grow and makes you use LESS of it.  AKA hoarding (but I NEED those candy wrapperssss!!!).

Not-so-lastly (and this is kind of ridiculous), my bathroom leaves a little something to be desired.  Or a big something.  Made of whatever - grandiose granite or mediocre formica.  I'm talking a countertop here, folks.  A pedestal sink is no way to a woman's heart, let me tell you what.  Especially if said woman could fill an entire room with her beauty junkie habit.  And boyyyyy could she ever.  But we're back to me.  So there's this sink with no counter, and an inset medicine cabinet for a mirror that, if standing up straight, displays from my chin to my chest.  This doesn't exactly serve me well when it comes to getting ready "from the chin up," if you will.  "How then" you ask, "do you look so amazing every day, K?"  Very good question.  I wake up looking gorgeous, pull on some pants and head out the door.  Apparently topless.  No no, you see I've made some creative arrangements..... my hair stuff (it's a tower) sits atop my husband's dresser in our "guestroom" (videogame room), and my makeup is displayed prominently at our dining table.  But not the whole table.  Only half.  (That makes it better, right?)

And there, folks, you have an honest-to-goodness CRISIS.  Won't you please help those in need?  Kidding, that link goes to the Red Cross.  Please be generous, as the earthquake/tsunami (actual crisis) has caused millions of very vain people to be without bathroom counters to put their makeup and hair products on (and who are now extra crabby because they don't look as pretty).  And for the non-vain people too.  Give $10 extra if you laughed.

That's all, folks.  Thanks for keeping me on your Google Reader after like 234 months of not posting.

An update.... and an attempted return to bloggery.

Hi folks! It's about that time for another mediocre attempt at returning to my blog! Huzzah!!!

Things are excellent -- I started my new job at Cole's Salon at Eagan Station on Sept 7th and have been totally and completely happy with my decision to work there. I'm chock-full of reasons why it's a great company, and I'd love to share:

1. They're extremely successful.
Cole's Salons have been in business for 31 years now. That's a long time. And the company is littered with people who've been there for 20, 25, 30 years who love what they do, and love for whom they do it. In fact, Star Tribune listed Cole's as the #2 Mid-size company to work for in Minnesota. And because of the ESOP program, we all get to have shares in the company stock. Cole's is 44% employee owned. We work our butts off AND reap the rewards.

(If I could have my way, I'd beef up their website and marketing, expand further INTO the cities - say Bloomington, even - and really make COLE'S known as a high-end group of salons. We sell amazing products, and staff extremely talented people! Let's tell the world!!!! My biggest pet-peeve is when people hear "Cole's" and think "Kohls"......)

2. I fit there very very well.
There's just something so perfectly balanced about it.... laid-back, but high-quality... family-friendly, but theraputic.... efficient, but personal.... Cole's has mastered the art of treating clients like family. Growing up in the area and going to Cole's as a child, I experienced this first hand. We have many clients under the age of 18.... and many under the age of 8. They see the same hairdresser from their first day of Kindergarten until their high school prom, and beyond. Some now bring their own children with them. And that is EXACTLY the kind of place I want to be. I want to bring my own friends and family who are now my clients into a place where they feel welcomed, served, and treated like guests. I can't tell you how many trainers I've had tell me "your station is your home, and your client is your guest - bring them in, and always ask them back."

The thing about my coworkers is that I not only enjoy them personally, but I also get a great deal of guidance and mentorship from them professionally. These ladies (we have no guys at our location!) know how to WORK. IT. OUT. I'm not kidding you. It's intimidating and inspiring. And also intimidating.

3. They are committed to ME. As an employee and a PERSON!
There's a big piece of our new staff training where they talk about being a "lifelong learner" and developing yourself personally and professionally. The beauty industry is not one that likes to stay the same for very long, so that concept is extremely important professionally. But on a personal level, Cole's has something called "Golden Nuggets." When I started, they provided me with a small "nugget" notebook and the book Life's Greatest Lessons by Hal Urban (READ IT). Every day, we spend time reading this or other books of the self-help, inspirational, motivational sort. And as we read, we are encouraged to write down statements from the book that resonate. As we add more and more, we go back and read them, and continue to develop ourselves, whether it be bettering our habits, philosophies on life or achieving goals. It's a wonderful practice, and I like to add that tidbit of inspiration to my workday, if only to fend off a case of the Mondays.

A favorite Golden Nugget: "Pain is inevitable..... but misery is optional."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Now, I need to address another piece of this, and that's Spalon Montage. While I did interview there, and was "in process" as an applicant from March to August, I was turned down for a position. By email. ? I interviewed very well, I've never ever ever had a problem connecting with someone in an interview, and I had a *fantastic* resume for a new graduate from beauty school. And, after being told in one interview that they don't do technical interviews but hire based on personality (a philosophy I support), it stung a bit.... The only reason that I could think for not being selected is that I would not fit in with their aesthetic..... 50th & France can't employ anyone that can't fit into Anthropologie's overpriced-yet-girlishly-adorable offerings. Pfffft. So what if I want to wear MuMus to work and smell like fried chicken??!? lol lol

But honestly, I really don't care! I'm SOOO happy at my salon, and I'm happy to work for a company for which I'm truly passionate. I'm PROUD of the work we do, the people we staff, the clients we serve and the ways we do it.

So here's my suggestion for our new marketing campaign:


Cole's Salons: Turning Clients into Family since 1979

:-)

OOOH, and #4 - the products are the BEST: Aveda, Bumble & bumble and Oribe? Yes please!

So, this one time... in beauty school....

(Please notice my attempt at increased frequency. Or then again maybe don't notice so I don't feel obligated to keep it up!)

I know plenty of people that I talk to these days want to hear my tales of beauty school: what we learn about, what we master, where we are now, when we take clients, etc. It's fun to share, because honestly I never knew these things either before starting school! So, here are some fun facts:

What we learn
hair cutting, coloring, chemical services (perms and relaxers), makeup application, facial cleansing and waxing, nails (natural and artificial)

How the program works
We start out 100% classroom and complete 8-week cycles. Every 8 weeks we move up a step and a new class starts at the beginning: The Circle of Life. The program lasts as long as it takes us to fulfill our required 1550 hours of Cosmo school to become licensed (plus exams) -- there are, however, attendance requirements set by the school so it shouldn't take anyone more than a year to complete unless they take a leave of absence or something. I am "scheduled" to be done on August 24th, but due to planned absences (aka: weddings) hope to be done just a few days after. Will definitely be done by August 31st.

Learning
So far, at week.... 14?...we've covered just about everything. As we learn various techniques, we have a "model day" where we bring in a real person to work on - these have happened over the past 7 Saturdays that we've been in school. Starting at 15 weeks, we take our first paying client (if you're keeping track, that's NEXT WEEK), but still have classroom time 1-2 days a week to keep up on "other" skills that we don't always get to practice on the clinic floor.

How to be a client
Why, what a great question! I'm so glad you asked!! ;-) To be a client of mine, just follow these steps:
1. Call Aveda to make an appointment, sometime within my hours (Tu-Sat from 8:30-5pm)
2. Text/email/FB me to let me know when and for what you're coming so I can get you on MY calendar
3. When you check in that day, say you'd like to request Katrina M #67636 -- I will have notified my instructors that I have a request coming in, so magic should occur :-)

Life lessons at Aveda
1. I wish I had done this 9 years ago instead of waiting
2. ...BUT, I'm very glad not to be 18 and doing this, because those kids just don't appreciate it the same way as we "old folks" do
3. Cosmetologists / cosmo students are not the most intelligent people one might find in the world

And so so so much more.

That's all I have to say for now - lots of other things to talk about and discuss, so hopefully I get readers again soon. And a shoutout to Kelley who happened to check and comment on my anticipated return :-)

...and then it was January.

So, remember back in the day when I used to blog? Neither do I.

A few things have happened since I last blogged three months ago. Most notably - I got new curtains for my living room. And they're beautiful and energy-saving! Yay! Oh, and I do hair now.

School has been good, great, okay, interesting, frustrating.... all those things that school usually is. I enjoy delving into my chosen trade, and the learning process therein. But of course there are ups and downs, high points and low points, days I love it and days I just want to get the hell out of there.

When one comes into my house, there are a few key indicators of life as I know it these days:
1. My miscellaneous "traditional" school supplies - textbooks, my book bag, and items I've used for some of our recent projects (I cut pictures out of magazines in my school... Academia at its finest).
2. Indicators of new study habits - aka scissors, a cape, clips, spray bottles, etc. all from doing cuts and colors outside of school. Not exactly studying, but kind of.
3. A closet full of black clothes
4. A distinct scent of Aveda - it's in my hair, on my face, and all around the house. In my shower right now, one would find ALL of the following: rosemary mint shampoo, smoothing body polish, rosemary mint body wash, carribean therapy body cleanser, carribean therapy body scrub, pure abundance shampoo & conditioner, and black malva shampoo & conditioner. Oh, and soothing bath salts. This doesn't count any of the skin care or hair styling products.

But I've noticed some other changes that I don't love:
1. I've become a communication ritard - you see, I no longer sit in front of a computer bored out of my mind all day, nor am I within reach of my cell phone. I miss calls, emails and texts, or I have just enough time to see that I've received a text, but not enough to actually reply.... and couple that with my awful short-term memory and you get ritard-status.
2. Somehow I'm more of a home body introvert once I walk in my house. There are a few other factors in play, here, but those dig a bit too deep for right now.
3. I spend my day standing in front of a mirror.... you can imagine the effect that has....

And there it is.

It's now 1:00am and I'm over-thinking this blog entry, so I must to bed. Hopefully this is the first in a long streak of blog entries.... and hopefully those future entries are much more awesome than this half-asleep snooze-fest.

Stop the bus, I'm getting off!

Bus = Fairview.

I'm done! Wow!! I've been working there full time for over seven years. It's a bit unfathomable that I won't be doing the daily grind anymore. I won't be seeing the same faces, or doing my open enrollment, or coordinating the Holiday Giving Program (one of my favorite parts), or getting my benefits, or carpooling in the mornings with my hubby....

It's the end of an era.

And I'm going to sleep in tomorrow like I've never slept in before. Ahhhh.

Consider me orientated.

Yes, I know that's incorrect.

Went to orientation yesterday to get me orientamated. Woo hoo. I was super anxious before getting there and then I realized it was just a boring school orientation :-)

Here's the breakdown:
- Check-in
- Pay kit fee (sadly, we didn't get the kits)
- Awkwardly look for seat
- Introduce self to girl sitting next to me
- ....and her mother... ? Oh, she's 18, got it
- Look around room
- Judge people (see below)
- Watch DVD about Aveda
- Play getting to know you game (see below)
- Listen to admissions lady talk about policies, dress code, blah blah blah
- Take ID picture (good thing I look decent)
- Done more than 1.5 hours before it's supposed to "end" (nice scheduling, folks)

First, I'd like to address the "getting to know you game." You've all played it before. It's a piece of paper that has a grid with boxes in which are phrases like "Has been to Europe" and "Has never broken a bone." You go around to see who's name you can fit in the boxes. Except they made theirs into a bingo, and made it a competition.... so it was done in like 2 minutes, if that. Wow, because I really got to know so many people (the three at my table and three-four others) during that process.

FAIL.

Secondly, the people..... the judging... You could feel the eyes glaring around the room giving each other the once-over. I like to think that when I do such things, pan across a group and judge people, at least I look fairly pleasant and normal doing so. Not so for Ms. Stink Eye over there.... couple that with the overdramatic hair toss and I'm practically laughing aloud at the ridiculousness. And the hairstyles... my my, the hairstyles....

To be honest, the judgmental behavior is a bit of my concern for my new career. While I'm a self-declared amiable person, I wonder what it'll be like to be surrounded on a daily basis by vanity and cattiness. Will I constantly have to endure characters straight out of "The Plastics?"

OK, I'm thinking too hard about this post.... ciao for now!

Miscellaneous thoughts for a Wednesday afternoon.

1. I can't handle crazy people.

2. This website cracks me up -- who doesn't feel like they could start their own blog of this nature? www.myhusbandisannoying.com (love you, Bri)

3. I thoroughly enjoy having heart-to-hearts with friends. I crave it sometimes.... neigh, often. It makes me feel like a good friend to be entrusted with intimate details and listen while they talk things out. I love my friends and like feeling close to them.

4. I just caught up with episodes of GLEE and totally love it. If you haven't watched it yet, check out the pilot episode on hulu.

5. It's time for me to leave work! Hooray!

As it should be.

Financial Aid is frickin' difficult. The process is complicated, confusing, and *just for amusement* a pain in the ass. Here's my latest:


Aveda: Go to this website and apply for your Stafford Loan.

Stafford site: Sign your loan with your handy dandy PIN.

Me: <<enters PIN>> Huh, this was *surprisingly* easy.

Stafford site: Oh shoot, your last name on your App and your last name on your PIN don't match. Go apply for a new PIN.

Me: Futher muckers.

PIN site: I will fuck your shit up.

Me: Yeah, I know...

PIN site: Click here to apply for a PIN.... fill in all this information... and this... enter your SSN 6 times... oh wait, it looks like you already have a PIN. You can't do this then. Sorry!

Me: So.... ok back to main menu, how about Update PIN info...

PIN site: Thanks for coming in to update! Change anything but your last name and SSN!

Me: BALLS.

PIN site: If you want to change your name, you'll have to update it with the Social Security Administration. Then after you do that, you'll see rainbows and fairies and puppies and ice cream!! And we'll give you a LOAN! Hooray!!!

Me: .....I did that in JANUARY...

.....

So then, I decide mayhaps I should email their customer service peeps to see what the fug is up. And I get copy & pasted responses THREE SEPARATE TIMES telling me to apply for a new PIN. APPLY FOR A NEW PIN they say.... sheesh, what a clever idea except it's NOTFUCKINGWORKINGSGSHDKFJHKSDF.

::::shoots self in face::::

Back in action.

After a nice lonnng weekend, an adventure to Chicago and a crazy return back to work, I am here. Have thought a few times about blogging, but I'm not entirely sure that I have a true theme for this post.... it might be one of those boring life updates where I tell you about the lame minutae of my days and "this is what I ate for breakfast kind of crap." Lucky you.

But, in actuality, it's just going to be this teaser of a post. Things are just nuts here and I can barely formulate a thought, and those I can muster up are to be used for figuring out my financials for school.

Did you know I go to Orientation in TWENTY days?!? omg. And school starts a week after that! Craziness!

That felt good. How about another?

I enjoy writing. And I also enjoy communicating with people. So it's safe to assume that I enjoy blogging. Although they say that "assumptions make an ASS out of U and .... MPTION" (?), in this case it is truth.

Now, it's no secret, however, that I struggle from time to time with nailing down a topic or really committing to a post. I'll start writing something and whaddya know, I'll drift away (mentally or otherwise) never to return again. Sighhhhh. I blame ADHD. And a lot of blinky lights and move-y things in our house. OK not really, but sometimes the TV is on, and damn that Brian for trying to talk to me while I'm on the computer! Oh and those very very few occasions that I try to bust out a post while at work. It's hard to allow free flowing thought while minimizing your window every 90-120 seconds. (They're watching meeee!)

OK, so there's a relatively interesting intro.... now what? Do I tell you about my awesome writing skillz? Or about my long struggle with ADHD and how it's BLINKY LIGHT!

I'm sorry, where was I....

Nah, I think for now I'll really just ramble a bit until I decide that my eyes are too blurry to see through and I best be getting to bed so I can more easily drag my butt out of bed tomorrow. Did you know that I am sooooooososososo not a morning person? Ask my husband. And my mom.

I get a good amount of motivation to post knowing that others are checking. I don't know how often you check or who you are always, but toss up a comment so I know I'm not writing to dead air space. I find that readers make me feel a bit more accountable for providing entertainment. I make no guarantees that the posts are, in fact, entertaining, but at least I'll typey type out a few coherent thoughts and hit the post button. (Ahh if only it were that simple.)

Speaking of ADHD and typey type, have you tried Twitter? It's like blogging for the ADHD mind -- short form, one sentence, here's my thought, annnnnd DONE. You can do it once a day or once every 30 minutes, depending on how many thoughts you have circling your brain. And NO, it's not like FB status updates where you merely tell people what you're doing at any given time... it's more like the "other" updates where you say interesting things like "Rachel Zoe is totally bananas, but needs to eat, you know, cheeseburgers" and "Would you rather be the top scientist in your field, or have mad cow?"

So I guess what I'm saying is that my blog will be about everything, and yet nothing. Whoa. <--Keanu-style

OK byeeeeeeee.
_____________________________

OMG UPDATE: I tried to post this and it went all FAIL on me and I thought I'd lost the WHOLE THING (which is like, crazy bad, because this was the prologue to my autobiography), and I was about to say "f_ck this sh_t, I'm never f__ing blogging again because this is clearly a sign from GOD that it's not meant to be, and my career as a blogger/writer is over!!!" and then throw my computer down and go wash my face and brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Booyah.

But it turns out it's okay! I'm gonna copy this before I try hitting "publish post" again..... juuuust incase.

If this post and I don't make it thru the night..... come find me on twitter.

Hey, turns out you're reading this!

Not sure who you are, though. Just saw on my google analytics that you're here -- some directly, some from emailing links in gmail, some from who knows where. But the good part is that you're here.

A few things:
1. I saw the Green Durango in it's usual parking spot a few weeks ago..... I shook my head.
2. School starts six weeks from yesterday and I'm freaking a bit. Trying to get loans and such in order while also maintaining some sanity.
3. My birthday is Friday and... well... I just don't feel it. This week is a bit stressful, after all. But still.... sad face at you, 27 :-(
4. The combination of financial anxiety before school and my birthday makes for a hard choice between practicality and frivolity. I try to strike a balance, but it's harrrrrrrrd. Especially considering I've been searcing websites and picking out things I love but can't have. Namely house decor and the like. Sighhhh.

OK, I'm about to crash sitting here in the recliner. Ta ta, lovely friends!

Beauty in the eye of the beholder

It's no wonder that we have unrealistic beauty standards. Look at this:

Congrats to the photo editing team at Victoria's Secret for successfully airbrushing out all signs of emaciation.

And don't even get me started on most mascara ads.

~~~~~~~~~~

On that note, I thought I would post images of beauty and the features I admire:

This first photo is not safe for work -- it's of model Crystal Renn. I could fill this blog with images of her, as I find her absolutely stunning. And my beauty icon (I DIE for those eyebrows). She was formerly a high fashion model but depended on eating disorders to keep her there. She walked away from it to get healthy and is now a very successful plus-size model.

OK, just a few more pics of her.....

In a stark contrast to Crystal's soft, feminine look, here are some beautiful photos of athleticism and strength.

Hilary Swank in an awesome ad/mag shoot

This chick is a javelin thrower from Paraguay... who knew! I wonder if modern medicine has perfected leg transplants yet.

Gymnasts and ballerinas astound me with their musculature and power. The balance and technique require lots of amazing, tiny muscles that my body can't comprehend.

And Gabrielle Reece is just.... I would honestly kill for this body

Others I'd like to mention (aka aspects of my friends I totally envy!):

- Erin's blue eyes, great teeth and rockin' body

- Kate's thick hair, long lashes and hourglass shape

- Micaela's runners legs and long 'n' leanness

- Bridgett's gorgeous hair and pretty hands

- Andrea's radiant skin, lovely curls and bedroomy eyes

- Ana's adorable smile, graceful neck and great legs

- Angie's perfect skin and cheekbones

I could go on and on and on and on about my beautiful friends..... and if you want me to, just ask :-)

Why, God, Why?

I am STILL somehow stuck in a blog rut. I thought separating out my beauty stuff over to my new beauty blog would be helpful! But apparently not. I guess the details of my every day existence seem too mundane for the likes of y'all.... whomever you are out there.

Will pull through somehow, someday!!!