I give.

Once upon a time, I blogged....

I blogged about random things. I blogged about funny things (at least I think they were funny). I blogged about whatever the fuck I felt like. This is a metaphor for my life. I could do whatever the fuck I felt like doing!

Then September came, and I had a child. And it was and is amazing. But, my ability to go to a movie on a whim is somewhat compromised. Of course, I realized that this change was coming while pregnant, but until you're really in it and watching the hours fly by in between feedings and diapers and laughs and smiles, you just don't quite comprehend the transformation. 

So, I'm back. Blogging has always been a bit of a steam valve for my brain. When the brain gets too hot, it's time to funnel through the fingers. That's not to say that my blog posts have always been a way to vent or bitch, but I just have a lot of feelings...

That shit never gets old.

Nah, I'm not even really here to share feelings at this point. I just need to write sometimes! I'm a total scatterbrain, with clinical levels of anxiety, and writing focuses this very warbly person. And despite my irregularity, I truly enjoy putting pen finger to paper key.

If you've been following along, you've probably put two and two together to realize that I technically will now be considered a "Mommy Blogger." Ugh. BUT, BEFORE YOU ROLL YOUR EYES and click over to one of your 9 other browser windows (imdb, anyone?)... 

I hereby promise not to commit the classic Mommy Blog fouls. 

  - I will not make you think that I live any sort of perfect family paradise

  - I will not sugar coat

  - I will not censor my sailor mouth

  - I will not forget that I am a person in addition to a mom

  - I will not make this blog into talk therapy session or a personal journal filled with drivel

  - I will not have a perfectly decorated home for every holiday (or any holiday, for that matter)

  - There will be no giveaways, there will be no advertisements*

I must, however, admit to you that the following are unavoidable:

  - I will never NOT be a mom, which will likely affect my writing

  - I will always believe that my child is gorgeous and smart

  - I will certainly post pictures

  - I will celebrate victories big and small (but also promise to acknowledge failures)

  - I will include a fair share of day-to-day hum-drum life

  - I will be opinionated, and - because it's my blog - I will think I'm right

In conclusion, I'm back. For today, anyway. I'll probably forget again and not post for a month. 

C'est la vie.

Traycina

Miscellaneous thoughts for a Wednesday afternoon.

1. I can't handle crazy people.

2. This website cracks me up -- who doesn't feel like they could start their own blog of this nature? www.myhusbandisannoying.com (love you, Bri)

3. I thoroughly enjoy having heart-to-hearts with friends. I crave it sometimes.... neigh, often. It makes me feel like a good friend to be entrusted with intimate details and listen while they talk things out. I love my friends and like feeling close to them.

4. I just caught up with episodes of GLEE and totally love it. If you haven't watched it yet, check out the pilot episode on hulu.

5. It's time for me to leave work! Hooray!

Back in action.

After a nice lonnng weekend, an adventure to Chicago and a crazy return back to work, I am here. Have thought a few times about blogging, but I'm not entirely sure that I have a true theme for this post.... it might be one of those boring life updates where I tell you about the lame minutae of my days and "this is what I ate for breakfast kind of crap." Lucky you.

But, in actuality, it's just going to be this teaser of a post. Things are just nuts here and I can barely formulate a thought, and those I can muster up are to be used for figuring out my financials for school.

Did you know I go to Orientation in TWENTY days?!? omg. And school starts a week after that! Craziness!

That felt good. How about another?

I enjoy writing. And I also enjoy communicating with people. So it's safe to assume that I enjoy blogging. Although they say that "assumptions make an ASS out of U and .... MPTION" (?), in this case it is truth.

Now, it's no secret, however, that I struggle from time to time with nailing down a topic or really committing to a post. I'll start writing something and whaddya know, I'll drift away (mentally or otherwise) never to return again. Sighhhhh. I blame ADHD. And a lot of blinky lights and move-y things in our house. OK not really, but sometimes the TV is on, and damn that Brian for trying to talk to me while I'm on the computer! Oh and those very very few occasions that I try to bust out a post while at work. It's hard to allow free flowing thought while minimizing your window every 90-120 seconds. (They're watching meeee!)

OK, so there's a relatively interesting intro.... now what? Do I tell you about my awesome writing skillz? Or about my long struggle with ADHD and how it's BLINKY LIGHT!

I'm sorry, where was I....

Nah, I think for now I'll really just ramble a bit until I decide that my eyes are too blurry to see through and I best be getting to bed so I can more easily drag my butt out of bed tomorrow. Did you know that I am sooooooososososo not a morning person? Ask my husband. And my mom.

I get a good amount of motivation to post knowing that others are checking. I don't know how often you check or who you are always, but toss up a comment so I know I'm not writing to dead air space. I find that readers make me feel a bit more accountable for providing entertainment. I make no guarantees that the posts are, in fact, entertaining, but at least I'll typey type out a few coherent thoughts and hit the post button. (Ahh if only it were that simple.)

Speaking of ADHD and typey type, have you tried Twitter? It's like blogging for the ADHD mind -- short form, one sentence, here's my thought, annnnnd DONE. You can do it once a day or once every 30 minutes, depending on how many thoughts you have circling your brain. And NO, it's not like FB status updates where you merely tell people what you're doing at any given time... it's more like the "other" updates where you say interesting things like "Rachel Zoe is totally bananas, but needs to eat, you know, cheeseburgers" and "Would you rather be the top scientist in your field, or have mad cow?"

So I guess what I'm saying is that my blog will be about everything, and yet nothing. Whoa. <--Keanu-style

OK byeeeeeeee.
_____________________________

OMG UPDATE: I tried to post this and it went all FAIL on me and I thought I'd lost the WHOLE THING (which is like, crazy bad, because this was the prologue to my autobiography), and I was about to say "f_ck this sh_t, I'm never f__ing blogging again because this is clearly a sign from GOD that it's not meant to be, and my career as a blogger/writer is over!!!" and then throw my computer down and go wash my face and brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Booyah.

But it turns out it's okay! I'm gonna copy this before I try hitting "publish post" again..... juuuust incase.

If this post and I don't make it thru the night..... come find me on twitter.

Hey, turns out you're reading this!

Not sure who you are, though. Just saw on my google analytics that you're here -- some directly, some from emailing links in gmail, some from who knows where. But the good part is that you're here.

A few things:
1. I saw the Green Durango in it's usual parking spot a few weeks ago..... I shook my head.
2. School starts six weeks from yesterday and I'm freaking a bit. Trying to get loans and such in order while also maintaining some sanity.
3. My birthday is Friday and... well... I just don't feel it. This week is a bit stressful, after all. But still.... sad face at you, 27 :-(
4. The combination of financial anxiety before school and my birthday makes for a hard choice between practicality and frivolity. I try to strike a balance, but it's harrrrrrrrd. Especially considering I've been searcing websites and picking out things I love but can't have. Namely house decor and the like. Sighhhh.

OK, I'm about to crash sitting here in the recliner. Ta ta, lovely friends!

It's time.

"I just feel like I have so much to say but no good place to share it. Oh wait, that blog thing...."

HEY, friends! It's me :-)

Bet you've stopped reading.

Well, things have been really busy. Really frickin busy. Between twice weekly softball games, trying to find a new place to live, visitors, showers, friends, clients, and family stuff, my head is kind of spinning!

The best bet for me is always an outline format. Eliminates that whole extra complication of transitions....

1. The pool is still fucking closed. Softball friend Taylor just moved to the Burlington and can see the progress (whereas my place doesn't have a view). Let's just say that there isn't any. I'm seriously furious and it's definitely caused a big hit to my emotional health.... it's the absolute foundation of my happiness in the summer months and now every nice day I get serious pangs of anxiety feeling like I should be out, by water, somewhere. Hey doc, I need a boost in my SSRI dosage.... yep.

But is there anything I can do about it? It was estimated to be finished by, well, yesterday, and clearly isn't anywhere close. I wish I could get a discounted rent, but I'm afraid to ask....

2. Business is good. Not referring to my day job, obviously. Although that's fine as well. I've booked a number of clients and just did two last week. I'm thinking of starting a separate blog through my makeup website detailing some of my work with the clients and such. Kind of make it a bit more personal and make the potentials and even those that I've already booked feel a little more "in" on the inner-most workings of the arteeest.

So, here's the schedule:
June 23rd -- did a boudoir session, super fun! I love doing these because of the extra "va va voom" factor. Everyone wants to vamp it up.

June 27th -- bride + others. Bride looked exactly like Kendra from Girls Next Door (except 35 and not annoying). Gorgeous!! Did her 15 year old daughter, and her 70 year old mother(s), so there was a good range.

July 11th -- another boudoir shoot shot by pal photographer "Callie V."
July 25th -- bride + others
August 8th -- bride + others
August 15th -- Erin's wedding!! Bride, mother, bridesmaids, self...
August 22nd -- Ashley's wedding to my cousin Mike!! Bride, bridesmaids....
September 12th -- Lisa's wedding!! Not sure of who....
September 26th -- Cretin Derham Hall homecoming girls
October 9th -- bride + others
October 17th -- bride + others

Then I start school on October 20th.... holy cow!

3. Softball is going -- and I have the MOTHER of all bruises on my right thigh. It's literally larger than my hand. It's about 6" in diameter. A fast hit, low-flying ball took a hop off the ground and nailed me. Yeeeowtch!

We WERE doing great until we had a game cancelled -- we've tanked ever since.

4. That's all I can manage for right now.... because otherwise I'll get distracted and never finish.

Hope you've enjoyed!

ADHD about blogging: a collection of mini-updates

There are many times each week where I think of an idea for a blog post, but become so overwhelmed with the idea of said post that I just nix it all together. And then times where I have 10 potential ideas and don't know where to start.

This is the story of my life.

So rather than topical, organized posts.... I thought maybe I could just word vomit (in an outlined format, of course) about various stuff and things all in one place. Okay? Okay.

#1: Things are almost set for me to start school at Aveda on October 20th. HOORAY!

I'm really pumped at the thought of being a stylist! Colors, cuts, straightening, curling, men, women, children. I love hair! I cut Brian's hair the other night, and while it was a new "style" and new process (from his usual crew cuts), I think it worked out pretty well! The longer hair definitely hides mistakes better, which is nice ;-)

#2: Our six-month anniversary was yesterday. HOORAY!

We celebrated by spending two nights at my in-laws house on twin beds and going to the most white-trash wedding I have ever seen. OH, and 8 hours in a car together. FUN!!! I did get some sweet throw pillows out of the deal though.... so glad I told him that YES it's standard to get your wife a gift for your 6-month.

#3: I really love shopping.

My budget does not support my passion, however. This can be annoying at times. I did get a FANTASTIC new spring windbreaker the other day from, surprisingly, NY & Company. I'd written the place off as the sizing can be weird and the tops aren't big enough in the bust. But thanks to Melinda, we ventured in and I found this gem:

Cute right??

OK, that's all for now. More to come later tonight or tomorrow, including the fantastic tale of yesterdays super white-trash wedding!! I KNOW you want to hear all about it.... ;-)

I thought I was agoraphobic....

Turns out I'm just really lazy and don't like to change out of my pajamas to leave the house.

This WAS supposed to be titled Planning my 2nd wedding (to Brian of course), but..... read on

I've been seeing so many pictures and blogs of weddings lately, that it's making me want to plan #2. This wedding will, in all likelyhood, be only in my mind, but for now I can at least post it here and dream.....

::::::we interrupt this post to bring you an important update (please read previous post for backstory): I started this post a bit ago, toggle through windows to find the pics I was going to post, look away from my screen at my wall calendar and suddenly think to myself "OOH, I'm gonna write a blog about what I want to be when I grow up...." open up blog window to discover that lo and behold I already have a blog IN PROGRESS. On my screen. Right here. Started about 15 minutes ago.

Good God almighty, someone give me meds.:::::::

So anyway, I'm scrapping the original message....