Night cheese.

How can you not love a TV show where Salma Hayek turns to Tina Fey and says "isn't there a Slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?"

Oh, and Tina Fey sings a song about night cheese.

Genious.

I look really good in shoulder pads!

Admittedly, I used to love watching the Golden Girls. Nothing better than a summer day as a 12-year old, sitting on the couch with a bowl of Ramen and "catching up" on Golden Girls, Murder She Wrote and Hogan's Heroes.

But somewhere along the way, I've forgotten that love. The Ramen noodles and oldies of my youth were replaced with the more grown-up choices like Pasta Roni and TLC / Bravo.

And then Bea Arthur passed. I've since found myself longing for the thrilling goings on of the fab four - hair styled with a pick, large costume earrings, and drapey nightgowns. So tonight, when I saw it on the TV listings, I couldn't NOT turn it on. Brian rolled his eyes. I felt my heart melt a little for the nostalgia.

I can't help but wonder what my days as a retired gal might be like. How long will my ol' man live? Where will I be? How can I get my salt and pepper locks to hold curl and puff up/feather out so my gold dangly earrings show??

I think it would be a wonderful thing, if widowed, to move in and live it up a bit with my girlfriends. I would certainly be sad to lose my husband, but it'd be fun to have a lil' ol' blue hair sorority! I sometimes get a bit sad that I never had the opportunity to live with girlfriends, but the prospect of doing so in my "golden years" brings a smile to my face. Ohhhh the shenanigans we'll get ourselves into.....

So.... who's with me??

We're years past "shotgun"...

This is killing you. You can't take it anymore. You're dying to know, aren't you.....

Alright then, here's the as-promised story of the WHITE TRASH WEDDING.

Background: this is Brian's 26-year old cousin that knocked up his girlfriend when they were 18 and then again at 20. While still living at home. Fast forward to Saturday.

To start, the ceremony was at 2pm at the courthouse. One could expect a 20-minute wedding, if that. The reception start time was listed as 6pm. Super. We skipped out on the tiny courthouse deal, and let Brian's parents go without us and hit the reception part. There was likely no way that all of the invited guests could fit at a courthouse wedding anyway.

So, onto the reception at the Monona Community Center. Picture it if you will: A small, 70's style gymnasium type room with a few strands of icicle lights, cafeteria tables lined up with plastic chairs, plastic table"cloths", fake lavender rose petals strewn across them with random glass containers in which swam purple beta fish.

Hope that set the tone and the ambience appropriately for you.

Now how about the food & beverage situation?? Always important in the wedding world. The tiny bar had a little soda station (the old kind with the four tappers you used to see at high school football games) set up next to it with plastic cups. Kids surrounded the machine. The bar itself was serving complementary Miller High Life in plastic cups. The champagne of beers if you will (which WAS consumed by the bridal party out of champagne glasses. Ironic, no?). Other than that, it was cash only.

It came time for the buffet, so folks started lining up..... we finally arrived at the buffet table to find styrofoam plates and plastic "silverware." They had run out of napkins. A couple of veggies & dip trays, followed by giant containers of potato salad (heavy on the mayo), pasta salad (very heavy on the mayo), and coleslaw (guess what? MAYO). A box of buns, and two trays with meat -- BBQ pulled pork and pulled turkey -- completed the spread. I ate all my veggies and one small pork sandwich. I didn't bother with the mayo-plus salads.

The cake, prominently displayed by the buffet, was an instant throwback to 1988. Tiers offset with little "bridges" in between upon which stood the little plastic (purple) bridal party, leading up to the top tier featuring the plastic bride and groom. And don't forget a red wine fountain positioned beneath the top tier. Everyone raved at how beautiful and what a masterpiece this cake was. The bride's neighborlady had made it. I'm pretty sure her name was Barb or Kathy or something.

But the real treat was the interesting crew of guests in attendance..... I can sum it up in one word: babymomma. OK, maybe that's two and maybe a few more words are necessary.... such as JEANS, t-shirts, baseball caps, drunks, flip flops, cigarettes, (short) sun dresses, unfortunate English usage, tattoos, hoop earrings, tennis shoes, "pimp hats"...... the list goes on. And LOTS of kids. My favorite was the 8 months pregnant girl (19 maybe?) wearing a SHORT blue sundress (spaghetti straps no less) with silver flip flops slow dancing with her man (baby daddy? not sure) while he grabbed her butt. Score dude, high five.

The highlights of the evening:

MUCH TO MY JOY, the cake was frickin' delicious. WAY TO GO, Connie!!!! or whatever your name was. Perfectly delightful lemon poppyseed with white buttercream. Yummmm. I had two pieces. But hey, I didn't have much dinner :-/

And the night was MADE when the DJ announced that the bride and groom requested that guests not clink their glasses to get them to kiss, but instead sing yadda yadda..... clink our glasses, you say? Um, excuse me... Mr. DJ.... may I briefly hearken back to the part in the story where I mentioned plastic cups and plastic "silverware?" Not much clinking to be done, eh?

We left still laughing....

HOWEVER, I do have to say that when budgets get cut, some otherwise "classy" brides & grooms eliminate things for their guests such as dinner, free alcohol / soda / bevs of any sort, dessert, and dancing while still expecting people to show up with gifts. This couple made sure to provide those items while remaining within their means, which is definitely worthy of praise. So CHEERS, Chris & April!

ADHD about blogging: a collection of mini-updates

There are many times each week where I think of an idea for a blog post, but become so overwhelmed with the idea of said post that I just nix it all together. And then times where I have 10 potential ideas and don't know where to start.

This is the story of my life.

So rather than topical, organized posts.... I thought maybe I could just word vomit (in an outlined format, of course) about various stuff and things all in one place. Okay? Okay.

#1: Things are almost set for me to start school at Aveda on October 20th. HOORAY!

I'm really pumped at the thought of being a stylist! Colors, cuts, straightening, curling, men, women, children. I love hair! I cut Brian's hair the other night, and while it was a new "style" and new process (from his usual crew cuts), I think it worked out pretty well! The longer hair definitely hides mistakes better, which is nice ;-)

#2: Our six-month anniversary was yesterday. HOORAY!

We celebrated by spending two nights at my in-laws house on twin beds and going to the most white-trash wedding I have ever seen. OH, and 8 hours in a car together. FUN!!! I did get some sweet throw pillows out of the deal though.... so glad I told him that YES it's standard to get your wife a gift for your 6-month.

#3: I really love shopping.

My budget does not support my passion, however. This can be annoying at times. I did get a FANTASTIC new spring windbreaker the other day from, surprisingly, NY & Company. I'd written the place off as the sizing can be weird and the tops aren't big enough in the bust. But thanks to Melinda, we ventured in and I found this gem:

Cute right??

OK, that's all for now. More to come later tonight or tomorrow, including the fantastic tale of yesterdays super white-trash wedding!! I KNOW you want to hear all about it.... ;-)

Don't Forget -- Sunday Secrets 4-26

This week's secrets are up!

Because I routinely forget, I post weekly reminders about Post Secret's "Sunday Secrets" ...to remind YOU to check them out!

If you haven't seen it before POST SECRET is an art project - turned blog, book, and travelling art show - to which people send postcards with anonymous "secrets" written on them. (ALSO -- they post extra items on their Twitter page, so be sure to follow them there!)

I love Post Secret as it routinely makes me forget about my own problems, or makes me feel like I'm not the only one.... I'm not the only one with flaws, regrets, doubts, fears, or various idiosyncrasies or oddities. Different postcards help me reflect on different moments in my life and bring me momentary peace and "in-tunedness" with the world.... maybe it'll bring you the same.

TODAYS FAVORITES