Unfortunate discovery. And a HAPPY THOUGHT!

My stories aren't very good! I'm pretty okay with talking about thoughts, opinions, philosphies, experiences, etc... but when it comes to stories, none can compare to the crazy, deranged tales of Miss Melinda (my evil twin). I suppose I'm okay with that, though. I mean, some of us entertain via reality, while others require excessive embellishment and far-out exaggerations (like a soap opera or telemundo).

It is a bit pathetic that my most entertaining story details my feelings and actions against a violator of simple parking law..... but the interest in this tale has been surprising! Apparently people enjoy boring tales of vigil ante justice :-)

Meanwhile, I've been dreaming of pool time. With the warm weather approaching and thoughts of tanning (for Kate's wedding next week), I've been very jazzed about spending some good, quality time by the pool this summer with some of my favorite people:

- Erin will be done with her L2 year of law school (and will probably appear at my doorstep drunk after her last final in a swimsuit) and needing some SUNSHINE. Ali will be with her.
- Kate will be an old married lady with FINALLY some more time on her hands to spend with ME
- Angie's finally a MN resident again
- Micaela and I will be hanging out three days a week with softball Tues & Thurs
- Melinda will come despite the vegitation in her drink last year (it's just MINT, sheesh)
- Andrea will take a break from her hip, fun life living in uptown and being a comedianne
- Ana will find a break from earning all that Pharmacist $$$ between weird shift rotations at the hospital and casual work in Winona
- Bridgett will hopefully come (with or without baby Harper)
- And maybe, JUST MAYBE, Tom & Kathryn will bring Luke over for some fun in the sun.... or drop him with grandma Lois and go nuts ;-)
- Oh, don't forget about "gay or European?" and his 'girlfriend' "Tits on a Stick"

GOODNESS, this is going to be a busy summer! Thank God I have such fabulous people in my life to share it with. Mark your calendars, clean out your coolers and go buy yourself some new flip flops!

Now.... I'm gonna start work on an iPod poolside mix ;-) I'm thinking some oldies, some pop tunes, some fun country.... AHHHHH, it'll be great!

ROLL CALL

If you are reading this post, please comment below! Even if you are a complete stranger, I want to see who's with me!

(I wonder if Blogger will let me do a one answer poll..... hmmmm....)

And.... GO.

Edit: yes indeed you CAN do a one answer poll. Google is dumm like that. See the top right. Please answer, but do so wisely.... (:::cue Monty Python quote::: WHAT is your favorite color??)

Incase you've found yourself wondering....

.....NO, I have NOT seen the Green Durango since the day those fire trucks appeared.

"What happened???" you might ask yourself.... but we will never know. The world will never know.

Until next time, Green Durango..... next time....

Not the Durango in question, but a photographic representation.

Pressure is on!

Let me preface by saying that I am so not very funny on my blog. I tried funny, but I became so overwhelmed at the thought of having to "perform" here that I just ultimately stopped posting. Once I took a deep breath and realized that it's MY blog and I can write whateverIwantsodontjudgeme, it lifted the burden!

Also, I'm way funnier in person. It involves a lot of jazz hands, weird facial expressions and strange voices. Here I'm just.... words. :-/

My heart skipped a bit of a beat when my blog was publicly outted by my fab wedding florist, Jackie (LOVE HER! Just Bloomed) over on her lovely flowery blog (love the idea of a florist's blog! Who doesn't love to look at beautiful flowers??). OMG she said my blog was funny and then LINKED it. So, a slightly awkward helloooooo to anyone who's come here from there thinking "who is this WEIRDO??"

In all seriousity, I really think that Jackie is phenomenal at what she does. I love flowers and I love pretty wedding bouquets, but it's a really really difficult thing to arrange flowers WELL. She is so creative, coming up with superb bouquets in both a modern style and a romantic style. Two favorites:

See? Beautiful. And this is reason enough for a fabulous flower blog.

Angry models.

I'm HUNGRY. I started a two-week diet yesterday in prep for a friends wedding in... two weeks!.... and I'm really getting in tune with my own hunger. It's an interesting feeling.

But seriously, now I know why models are so bitchy most of the time.... THE PANGS. Gah. I just want to eat a big bowl of pasta, french fries, a bag of chips..... but noooo.

So this diet, you ask [assumption].... well, I decided on a whim the other day to stop at SuperTarget and get carrots, spinach, celery, cucumbers, green peppers, spinach, strawberries and oranges, "salad spritzer" dressing and chicken breasts. Add in eggs, whole wheat bread(the really chunky kind), and some Lean Cuisines... and LOTS OF WATER.... and you have a really really shitty cake.... kidding, you have my daily intake. Granted, this is the end of day two :-)

Sustainable? Nope. Effective? Yeah, you know it! Add in some workouts and I should see some pounds fall off pretty quick. It may be a nice jumpstart into a habit of healthy eating that IS sustainable, however! It's pretty good for the overall awareness to get a better idea of what calories you're ingesting, what your body feels like when you eat a, b and c vs. x, y, and z, etc. I've found that I can be more disciplined than I thought I could. I've found that sometimes more water can solve my issues better than more (craptastic) food. I've also found that a nap is a great cure for nearly intolerable cravings!

Now, weekdays are a different story than weekends -- and tomorrow marks weekend day one. I do have plans to meet the fabulous Melinda for lunch at the Olive Garden (OMG I want a bowl of alfredo and a spooooon), but I've pre-scoped the menu and nutrition info online for a decent choice(s). They have Garden Fare options which are essentially some usual entrees with vegetables replacing the usual potato side. My plan is for the Pork Filettino -- 350 calories for "Grilled pork tenderloin marinated in extra-virgin olive oil and rosemary. Served with broccoli and red bell peppers." YUM! And by picking something pretty low on the caloric scale, I can splurge on a breadstick or two dipped in alfredo. YUMMMMM.



Fuck, looking through this menu is making me SO HUNGRY. I think that means it's time to go to bed!!

I think my blog is cool. And just because you're pretty doesn't mean you can act like that.

So, now that I have a new look and post a bit more regularly, I feel like my blog is kinda cool again. It's that idea that confidence can make ANYONE feel cool, you know? So even if my blog is the weird geek of the blog world, it feels pretty fucking awesome and smart and knows that it will make more money than your "popular" blog someday ;-) Eat that, Bloggess.

I'm teetering on the idea of sharing it with various family and friends, however. I'm afraid that my love for the f-word might offend someone and the blog could end up in the wrong hands and then my brother will be all "kiss your... OUR mother with that mouth?!?" and I'll be all "YOU taught me these words, assface." Hi Tom! But I don't think my usage is that excessive that someone wouldn't be able to tolerate it. And really, there are some things that cannot be expressed in literary terms without cursing.....

Maybe someday when I have a baby blog I'll keep it to like one per post.

And now, I seamlessly transition into my next topic....

I visited lovely friend Bridgett tonight with adorable yet fussy baby Harper out in "disturbia." Poor Bridgett..... Harper just does not like to cooperate with the whole "sleeping" thing. As Bridgett so kindly puts it, "she's a needy little girl." It really is in her own benefit, however, that she's such a PRETTY baby!!! God, what a cute lil' face that girl has! Daddy Josh said tonight "I'd rather have an ugly baby that SLEPT," but they're both happy with their creation :-) Hopefully soon things will settle down, but in the meantime say a little prayer for the Gawlik family that they maintain sanity!

These two do NOT know sign language.

Yet.

two of my all-time favorite kitty pics

Olive and Cherry, while being little shits sometimes, sure are sweethearts. They've been very energized by the new food we started about a month or so ago. Both are more playful as a result, which is so great! Olive is my little buddy every time I sit down on the couch. We call her armrest cat, because she is at my left side within minutes of me sitting down. Sometimes she'll sit right next to me, perching her body on my leg and nuzzle into the crook of my arm. I die a little, it's so cute!

I'm extra lovey dovey towards them lately, even investing in a FURminator and brushing them like mad. Via brushing, Olive birthed a litter of kittens the other day. Or so it appeared. The hair just. kept. coming. out! Cherry's been a bit more difficult, as she's a bit skiddish about grooming (due to her "dingleberry" problems), but I get a few strokes in here and there. Her fur is SO FINE and yet there's SO MUCH. It's so fine that individually, the strands are nearly invisible. It sticks to your hand due to static and literally feels like cobbwebs! You can't imagine the issues it causes when those get in your eyes and eyelashes.

We visited PetSmart to pick up the FURminator the other day and as a rule we ALWAYS visit the kitties up for adoption. I wish I wish I wish I could take out every one of them and snuggle them like I do my own kitties. There were some real sweethearts there, but none as wonderful as Morris, the 1-year old orange tabby. He just sat up, so alert, just waiting for us to come towards his crate.... and when we finally got to his (the last) we both felt the yank on our heart strings. He was so... so.... SOOOO cute. Fuzzy and orange, alert, bright-eyed, playful, sweet, trusting - you could see all those traits in an instant.

It broke my heart to leave Mr. Morris there. I think all those sweet lil kitties deserve a warm, soft place to sleep, a hand to reach out and pet them, maybe scratch behind the ears and rub under the chin a bit, and to be told "I love you!" at some point in their lives.....

And on that note, I can't wait to see my furblobs when I get home :-)

I can barely take care of MYSELF....

I started to write a big post about Chinese Astrology whilst simultaneously discussing it with my friends.... there's SO much information and we talked about it enough that now I think I'll toss it. Maybe someday you'll hear all about my Yang Water Dogness.

Today's blog is actually more baby talk. Yep, that's right. Again.

I was super excited to be asked by my sister-in-law Kathryn to watch Luke overnight in a few weeks. I get to pick him up from daycare, hang out with him at their house, put him to sleep, get him up and ready, drop him off.... I'm really really jazzed about it! Not only do I love the lil' guy like crazy and look forward to the time together, but I get to play house :-)

<-- Luke looooves static!

If you didn't know this, Luke is the most cutest, most smartest baby around. He's just over a year (14 months -or- 61.5 weeks to be exact) and frickin adorable. This past weekend, we got to see first-hand his new sign language skills (!!!). He's signing "more" "please" "eat" and "all done." My heart melted! The melting was also partly due to his super cute plaid button-down shirt, jeans and sneakers combo. He's almost walking, but has decided he really doesn't need to yet. I'm sure once he does, he'll take off and never stop!

My baby rabies are in full swing. I can't wait for motherhood. I just feel like it's something I'm made for. I have always been fascinated by genetics and specifically reproduction, so my curiousity around pregnancy is really no surprise. What an amazing process. Think of the most amazing machines in the world, and it still doesn't compare to the fact that a woman's body can make something out of seemingly nothing. Unbelievable. Did you know that the placenta is the only organ that we GROW in our lifespan?

Last week, my supervisor brought in her 1-month old to the office. She was able to leave him hear and bop over to a few medical appointments, conveniently located in the building next door. We LOVED having the time with lil Peyton while she was gone! I was absolutely thrilled. He slept on my shoulder, curled in a little ball and just snuggled right in. He was having some trouble eating, but his fussing didn't bother me a bit. Eventually we figured it out and he was happy and content once again :-) It was so wonderful to be with him -- I just get so much happiness from spending time with little ones, especially teeny newborns. They appreciate how snuggly I am!

I guess my point in all this is three-fold. 1) I'm surrounded by babies and pregnant people and I love it. 2) I'm damn good at it all. 3) I'm ready.

Firetrucks, cupcakes and pink shoes

After posting yesterday's green Durango update, I peered out the window to find it was gone. Gone! Replaced instead by a random truck. Oh, and three fire trucks. Hope they towed your ass for parking in the fire lane. But I'm guessing Stumpy McCankles had fled the scene prior to the MFD arrival. We'll see what happens next!

I find myself VERY hungry for a bowl of buttercream this morning after Googling cupcake recipes. My latest obsession is Lavender Cupcakes thanks to an acquaintance who happens to be very good at baking; thankfully I've managed to get my hands on the recipe. But it still isn't quite right, so I'm hoping to utilize some recipes I found online for vanilla cupcakes and run with the lavender flavor. It's a very interesting, mild flavor, and ridiculously delicious. You are now also craving cupcakes, aren't you? You're welcome.

I'm excited that we're getting glimmers of spring, despite my hatred for it. It is so UGLY outside... especially this morning before the sun came out. Cars are covered in brown crust, snow banks on the roads are black from exaust, sand is on every shoulder and boulevard, brown and blahhhhness everywhere. I can't take it! To combat this effect, I've decided to whip out my pink suede loafers. They're adorable. I feel so cool in them. There's something so chic about unexpectedly colored shoes. NOT chic if you match them to your shirt/dress, however. I recently bought a pair of yellow pointy pumps and they're so cute poking out the bottoms of my jeans, like a little surprise! It makes me feel so... kicky ;-)

OK, that's all for now. Happy almost weekend!

AGAIN!

Green Durango. Southwest corner of Mayo Circle. Parked half up on curb. THE NERVE.

I really don't know what to do! Hospital Security doesn't give a crapolah, and the UMPD apparently only likes to bust traffic violators in other lots (c'mon, who doesn't know someone (Brian) who's been towed from the U of MN campus??). I mean, granted I did only send an email to their non-emergency email address (not that there's an alternate emergency email), so maybe I could call up and tell them of my vigil ante-ness. I'm a regular gumshoe! I'm sure they'd appreciate my efforts and maybe make me a contracted sleuth.

My stealthy abilities really stem from a childhood playing "Where in the US is Carmen San Diego?" (dammit, song in my head now) on the computer and a love of reruns of NCIS: Navy Criminal Investigative Service on USA at 4, 5 and 6pm on weekdays. I love Agent McGee aka Sean Murray -- if I were single, I'd totally go for it. Except that he's married and lives in CA. One of the secret reasons why I like him so much is because he was Thackery Binx in Hocus Pocus, one of my all-time favorite movies.

I digress.

So anyway, my point is that I don't exactly know what to do next. I like Missy's suggestion the other day of getting these. I know that I'd have PLENTY of use for them considering all the idiots with cars these days. I guess I'll have to think about this more over lunch. I may have to stakeout after all.

Surprise (eyeroll)

I know you've all been waiting with baited breath for the conclusion to last week's Durango tale, and I'm here to deliver.


Upon heading out of the office on Friday, I noticed that while we weren't looking, the rebel Durango made a successful escape. How did this happen?? Did she see me run out to look at her license plate prior to reporting her to the UMPD and swiftly come out to move it? No one knows.....

Well, whaddya know... Today, who should be parked in that same corner but stumpy legs in the green Durango! I shook my fist in disgust. It's time the authorities intervened!!! But what do I do now? If I call the hospital security, they might think I'm a weirdo that gets off on getting other people in trouble. And if I call up UMPD, well, they'll laugh because they're out busting rapists and marijuana growers and stuff.

But this in itself confuses me. I mean, how many times have the rest of us been towed on U of MN property for parking in the wrong place or for too long?? I mean C'MON! Justice must be SERVED here!!!

My only option left is clearly to stage a stakeout. Our office is not comfortably located for this purpose, so it'd have to be a concious effort to monitor the rebel green Durango. Oh how I wish I had some video surveillance equipment. My camera phone just won't cut it.

TO BE CONTINUED....